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What does a platonic touch or cuddle session look like?

All sessions are broken down into four parts.

  1. Practice Consent

  2. Opening Agreement

  3. The Cuddling

  4. Closing Reflection

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Once arriving I will introduce myself and ask if the client would like a handshake or a hug. I will then ask for a tour (outcall rule for Cuddlist) of any spaces they are comfortable using and the bathroom. I will ask the location the client wants my purse, coat, and shoes if one is not provided. I will let the client know that a timer will be placed once we start the Opening Agreement for the time they selected in advance. For example, you may have booked a 2-hour time slot, I will set an alarm for 1 hour and 45 minutes. That would mean the cuddling ends at that time but we will have an additional 15 minutes to reflect and have further discussion.

Practice Consent- part one

First, we will practice consent. We will state the word “no” to each other. This helps it be more comfortable if the word is brought up. For individuals who are also involved in the BDSM and ABDL community we can use another safe word however 'yes' and 'no' are easiest to follow in terms of consent. After the word “no” is stated the other person will state the phrase “Thank you for taking care of yourself’". This allows the client to know that they are not being judged for stating NO.

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                Why do we practice saying no?

 

Many people see a touch therapist or a cuddliest due to mental health diagnoses and/or past trauma. This helps them become comfortable with the word and allows them to know they have the power to either do or not do what they feel is appropriate for them during a session.

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We all have some level of trauma that can cause us to freeze in the face of speaking up for ourselves if it means risking rejection. At that point, we have lost the ability to choose and act out of free will. There is no shame in not being able to say no when we can't. Our aim here is to exercise the muscle. To build some resilience so that we say no before it becomes so uncomfortable that we have lost the ability to exercise our free will. And to advocate for our clients to do the same.

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*Reminder: Just because something was a “yes” in the past, does not mean it is a “yes” today. People are forever changing and so is consent.

 

**Reminder: No does not need a reason, an explanation, or justification. Just say NO unless you WANT to go into more detail. However, “no” is a complete sentence during these types of therapeutic sessions.

Opening Agreement- part Two

Secondly, we will go over the agreement. This is done verbally before any cuddling can take place. This is mandated by Cuddlist and not written by Miss RinRin, however, she upholds the agreement.

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  • I promise to take responsibility for my boundaries. If I'm uncomfortable with anything during our session I will adjust to come back to comfort and communicate if I need to. This is my commitment to you that I will only engage in ways that I am wholeheartedly happy with.

 

  • Will you respect my needs and limits? (wait for verbal agreement)

 

  • Will you promise to notice your own boundaries and discomfort to the best of your ability and to communicate or change during our session if anything happens that feels less than comfortable to you? (wait for verbal agreement)

 

  • Thank you, I promise to prioritize your needs, wants, and desires during this time together. I am dedicated to the service of your well-being and self-care within my resourced capacities. Will you do your part by being receptive to what you want and be willing to ask for it even though I may not be able to provide it in that particular way? (wait for verbal agreement).

 

  • This is an agreement that if either of us is uncomfortable, at any time, for any reason, we will speak up and adjust accordingly.  Will you agree to do that? (wait for a yes). Great, I promise to do that too.

Cuddling- part Three

Thirdly we will do the cuddling.

 

This may look different to everyone. It can be generic like big spoons, little spoons, having your hair played with, having your head on someone's lap, etc. There is no right or wrong way to cuddle, this is TOUCH therapy. As long as everyone is giving consent for the type of touch and it is non-sexual it is allowed during a Cuddlist session.

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Closing reflection- part Four

Fourthly we will be doing a closing circle so to say, basically, this allows both parties an opportunity to reflect on how they feel. What the client liked, what they did not like, and what they may want to do for the following session.

 

As this is designed to work as therapy we will also discuss at this time if this is something you would benefit from doing weekly, monthly, etc.

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