top of page


Adult Baby/ Diaper Lovers
Alternative Lifestyles and Subcultures
I have noticed that so many people in the BDSM community do not fully understand the differences between ABDL, Littles and Age Players. There are so many differences with this one aspect of the BDSM community that it can get confusing if you are not involved with the kink, fetish or lifestyle yourself.
Most people who are not familiar with the terms below associate them with pedophiles and other negative terms for sex crimes against minors. Before you start thinking that way I am going to stop you right now. Each person that participates in any of the following behaviors are adults. They are not minors. These adults want to do these things with other adults. They do not like children; they like to act like a child. They are not sexually turned on by actual children or people who wear diapers or who play with their biological, adopted, or foster parent. They are attracted to fully grown adults who participate in ROLE PLAYING.
-Miss RinRin
General Glossary
All of the terms listed below engage in gentle and nurturing experiences. Some of the below can also identify as being Masochistic, which is when they like to be punished and/or have humiliating experiences. Most individuals who participate in any type of regression and role play within this community generally call their partners either Mommy or Daddy. This is common with Littles.

Terms from The Posting Maven
Big/Caregiver
Someone who cares for a little
Daddy Dom
A masculine identity for a little’s caretaker. Daddy Doms blend traditional dominance with the kindness of a parental role; sometimes called gentle Doms.
Little
Someone who feels younger than they truly are and enjoys exploring this younger self. A little is typically a submissive in a BDSM dynamic, but may be a dominant or a switch outside of big/little play. Littles are treated more tenderly by their Bigs than in other Dom/sub arrangement. The focus is on nurturing the little, though rules are still put into place for the little’s behavior
Mommy Domme
A feminine identity for a little’s caretaker. A female-identifying person who consensually takes power, authority, or control in a relationship, scene or activity.
AB/DL
ABDL stands for Adult Baby Diaper Lovers. For most people who are ABDL do not engage in sexual activity while role-playing as an adult baby but as any kink or fetish, some do.
ABDL's tend to enjoy wearing diapers. These can be real baby diapers or adult briefs for incontinence. Some ABDL's use their diapers for both wetting and messes but others just like to wear them. There are some Diaper Lovers that do not fit the Adult Baby role. They are more of a Diaper Fetishist; those individuals tend to get joy sexually and non-sexually via wearing diapers or viewing other adults who wear diapers.
There are some Adult Baby Diaper Lovers that enjoy humiliation involving and wearing diapers. There are others who appreciate that helplessness feeling they get when they regress to infantilism.
Infantilism
Infantilism is known as "childish behavior" the persistence of infantile characteristics or behavior in adult life. This could be anyone who still has their inner child or who do not act like an adult. Infantilism is much different than Paraphilic infantilism.
Paraphilic Infantilism
Paraphilic Infantilism also is known as Autonepiophilia, or Adult Baby Syndrome are actual diagnoses given by a psychologist. Individuals that are typically diagnosed with autonepiophilia or Adult Baby Syndrome have behaviors that may include the following:
Drinking from a bottle
Wearing a diaper
Wear onesie or other clothing
Using pacifiers
Infantilism is much different than any other aspect because people diagnosed with Paraphilic Infantilism or Autonepiophilia have no control of what they are doing, ABDL, Bigs, Littles and Age players are all in control of what they are doing and choose to act as an individual of a younger age.
Bigs and littles
Big/little play is when a person or people embody a different biological age. The little acts as a younger age while the Big acts as their caretaker, this could be Mommy or Daddy. Generally, a little is of acting of ages between infant to 12 while middles are usually acting as ages13-18. Activities that correlate with them normally age appropriate; however, as a reminder, they are adults and can choose to do any adult activity they desire.
An interesting aspect of Big/little play is how it occurs. This can occur in scenes or an ongoing relationship dynamic. “Some littles may embody this relationship with their big without acting specifically as a child, in what is more of a spiritual big/little arrangement. For littles that do ageplay, the little will fully release the inner child and take on the attributes of that specific age” (The Posting Maven, 2015).
Age Players
“Age play or ageplay is a form of role-playing in which individual acts or treats another as if they were a different age. Ageplay is role-playing between adults and involves consent from all parties. Portraying any age can be the goal of ageplay, from babies to the elderly. Usually, this involves someone pretending to be younger than they are, but more rarely can involve assuming an older role” (Holly, 2013). Age Players do not generally live this as a lifestyle, but they do it for scenes in role-playing. Usually, ABDLs, Bigs, and Littles all live their roles as often as possible, and it becomes part of their life.

Terms from LittleLanding
Age Non-Conformity
Refers to a tendency towards feeling, and expressing oneself in ways that do not adhere to societies expectations for maturity. It can be thought of as an inclusive blanket term for those in our community who feel "little" for whatever reasons.
Agequeer
Someone who feels their age identity is outside the socially constructed norms regarding age.

References
Holly. (2013, April 06). What Is Age Play? Retrieved March 04, 2018, from https://kinklovers.com/bdsm-facts/what-is-age-play/
LittleLanding. (n.d.). Retrieved May 26, 2018, from https://aboutabdl.weebly.com/
The Posting Maven. (2015, June 28). ID a Day: Bigs & Littles • The Center for Sexual Pleasure & Health. Retrieved March 04, 2018, from http://www.thecsph.org/id-a-day-bigs-littles/
Age Identity
A person's private sense, and subjective experience, of how mature they feel. All societies have a set of age categories that can serve as the basis of the formation of a social identity in relation to other members of society. In most societies, there is a basic division between age attributes assigned to the different age identities. Society assigns age identities on the basis of one's chronological age or appearance. Just as one's gender identity is not necessarily dependent on one's assigned sex, one's age identity is independent from the age of their body. Additionally, the line between gender identity/expression and age identity/expression are fairly blurry.
Assigned Age
Socially constructed labels given involuntarily to individuals based on their outward appearance. Example: A male person appears to be about 45 years of age, the assigned age identity given to him is "middle-aged man".
Chronological Age
Someone's age as counted from birth. This is our legal definition of age. Example someone born in 1990 is chronologically 24 years old in the year 2014.
Coming Out Of The Toy Box
Analogous to coming out as LGBT but for age non-conforming folks.
Mental Age/ Mentality
Used in more of a clinical/legal sense to convey the equivalent level of one's mental function compared to others of the same chronological age. Example: A chronologically aged male of 45 years who has a mental age of 2 would most likely be described as being functionally impaired and unable to live independently.
Reclaimed Word
A word that has been used to marginalize a group but was later resurrected by the oppressed group. These terms often fail to breach generational boundaries or are still contentious (so be respectful/careful using these words if you are not in the oppressed group). Examples: Little, Big, diaper lover... Common examples: Queer, Faggot, Dyke, Butch etc...
Lamby Dragon: Personal Thoughts
Diaper Plays
SEXUAL VS. NON-SEXUAL
The one thing you have to remember about diaper subculture is that it works for some different plays. Below is a listing of the many different plays in which diapers can and are the focal point. These plays can be sexual or non-sexual in nature.
Baby Fur: The same as a furry or “fursuiter” but in infantile form. Like adult babies, furries enjoy all the same aspects, plays and pleasures associated with infantilism, but usually done in their fursuits. Some put diapers on the suits themselves, some wear underneath, and some do both.
Baby Slave: Simply put, baby slaves are “ABDLs” who identify as ether subs or slaves to a dominate parent-master, similar to Daddy Doms or Mommy Dommes, but the play leans more heavily towards sexual BDSM, pain, pleasure, and punishment.
CGL: Or “Caregiver Little” is the fundamental relationship between a child and parent. It’s the umbrella term for breakdowns such as DD/lg (Daddy Dom/little girl), DD/lb (Daddy Dom/little boy), MD/lg (Mommy Dom/little girl) and MD/lb (Mommy Dom/little boy).
Note: CGL doesn’t always use diapers as a central dynamic, but it’s only fair to include the play because there’s a percentage who do.
Cuckolding (Adult Baby): The practice of a wife or girlfriend bring in a third person and stronger alpha male to the relationship, despite having a “unless” husband, making the current husband or boyfriend as the baby in a relationship, referred to as a “cuck” and often being denied sex and forced to wear a chastity to reinforce it.
DDlg and DDlb: The sexual or non-sexual relationship of a dominant father to a submissive little boy or little girl, in the sense that they are entirely dependent. Kink-wise would be the same, sometimes taking on a more BDSM aspect, while staying in the “Big and Little” mindset.
Diaper Fur: A diaper fur is simply a furry who has a “kink” or “love” for wearing and/or using diapers.
MDlb and MDlg: The maternal version of the paternal DDlg and DDlg as listed above.
Sissy Baby: Sissy babies, for the most part, are guys who dress up as little or baby girls. “Sugar and spice with everything nice” is the mentality, opting for lots of pastel feminine colors, cute frills, light make-up and lots of glitter. The behavior of a sissy baby will coincide with the age they identify with.
Note: Sissy babies by percentage is mainly practiced by straight males who in some cases, love to be “pegged” (intercourse by a female with strap-on dildo), those who practice the play sexually.
Sissyfication Baby Humiliation: This form of humiliation takes a biological male who identifies as male who is considered “weak” or “feminine” to not only dress and/or sexual be treated as a female but also bust down to the weakest of the weak for others to make fun of at their expense and excitement.
Slave/Sub/Collared Diaper Humiliation: Masters and Mistresses within BDSM punish their subs in various ways. Diaper Humiliation is usually the lowest of the low, by breaking subs back down into helpless babies and often giving them “aids” to help make sure their diapers get used. A sadist may even opt to leave the diaper on until diaper rash sets in, forcing the sub to beg for a diaper change from the intense burning.

Frequently Asked Questions
The Answers You Need
Why are people drawn to Big/little play?
They can be for many reasons, no relationship or person is alike, but this is what I have seen and heard from individuals who live this lifestyle, they have an opportunity to be special in someone’s life, they have rewards and power along with responsibility. There is a chance to relive a time of innocence, they get to continue to see the world through wonder and curiosity and they can become free of stress and pressures of the real world.
You may be asking how Big and littles are different then ABDL?
While some people can be considered both little and ABDL they do differ because not all littles are DL’s. Not every little identify as an AB and vice versa.
Is being an ABDL ok?
Other than a potential risk of diaper rash, these desires aren't directly harmful. Still, indirect risks, concerns, and misunderstandings might need to be addressed.

bottom of page